What I’ve Been Training For

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I’ve been doing almost daily mindfulness meditation for a little bit now. I’m enjoying that quiet time set aside, and I also like the guided assistance of the Smiling Mind app. I’m finding that I am quicker to remember to stop, think, and breath. At almost any time, I can close my eyes, takes a few deep breaths, and feel calm wash over me.

And that’s a good thing, because this shit is getting real again. We got notice from our landlord that they need to sell the house we’re living in. With a family of four and three dogs (including a German Shepherd), finding a suitable house in our price range is not the easiest thing to do. So I rely on my training.

In addition to mindfulness, I also rely on a faith in a Higher Power. It’s not a formal thing. It’s not anything I pray to. It’s an underlying awareness of grace, that force which is life, that energy that was pure light that became everything and is everything. Perhaps the biggest benefit of long-term sobriety is the accumulation of experiencing things working out. By the grace of God, I should celebrate 30 years sober next month.

I am striving to maintain a sense of curiosity. What does God have in store for me next? It’s a quiet hopefulness. I know there is work to be done. We loved this house, and it is time to move on. I have multiple lines in the water and am quick to pull the line when I feel a nibble.

Of course, we still have 45 days. This could be an entirely different story when it gets close to our deadline to be out. But I know that all I need to do is show up, do what is in front of my, and don’t try to force my will. As the Big Book says, we relax and take it easy.

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