Yesterday I got to go to the barn and spend time with one of my favorite horses, a black Tennessee Walker named Dillon. The day was warm and dry, and while the uneven ground was a bit painful on my still-healing ankle, it felt glorious to be outside.
I brought Dillon out and spent maybe an hour with a shedder lifting masses of itchy, irritating, shedding hair. It was quiet, as my daughter was out in the pasture working with her horse. I hadn’t done more than said “Hi” to Dillon since my car accident in August 2017, nearly 8 months ago.
It took him a while to warm up to me, but soon we were nuzzling cheek-to-cheek as I scratched out the loose hair under his forelock. It seemed we both were relieved to be able to spend that time together. I had forgotten how calming it is to grok with a horse.
The moment was over too soon, yet I carried that Bliss into the rest of today.
Now, as I relate this to you, I’m getting a taste of that enhanced state of tranquility again. The past few months I’ve been aggravated, agitated, and finding myself wanting to isolate and escape into Xbox and playing games on my phone. Why am I turning away from this world?
I don’t know why, but I believe that meditation is a key to re-integrate into my life. I’ve been busy meeting with a new sponsor and working with five women in recovery, but I have been neglecting some key things. I haven’t wanted to sit with myself.
Sitting with myself, without external stimuli, is critical for my well-being. It is in those moments that I let God’s light shine into my darkness. Those moments give me clarity and strength and motivations to carry on. May you have a blissful day.