It’s been almost 8 weeks since the accident and I’m getting sick of myself. I still can’t put any weight on my left ankle. It’s frustrating trying to do anything. It takes me 10 minutes to do something that normally would take no time at all. And I still have a long way to go until I can walk again. I’ve fallen more than once just trying to get around my own (cluttered) house. Who created that clutter? Me. Who do I want to clean it up? Anyone but me.
Here’s the thing: I want other people (my family) to do things for me because it’s easy for them and hard for me. I’ve made myself a victim of my circumstances. My house is not wheelchair friendly, so I use that as an excuse to not do anything. Well, ain’t that pretty.
I have so much to be grateful for, but I’m not.
I’m the only one who can change that. I’m so blinded by what I can’t do that I’m not even looking for what I can do. This is a time when I need to pray for willingness.
I need to take a few moments apart and just breathe. I allow that connection with my Higher Power to shine forth from the fog. What can I do to be of service? How do I open my heart and allow that spirit to flow out?
Just taking a brief moment to remember that changes everything. All of my needs, and most of my wants, are taken care of. Time takes time. Even now I am amazed at the healing power the human body is capable of. My ankle is no longer floppy and incredibly painful from the slightest movement. The fact that bones can grow back together is nothing short of a miracle.
I just have to remember to take baby steps. While I can’t walk yet, I am, for the most part, free from pain. I’m getting some range of motion back. I just need to remember: time takes time.