Fear the Butterfly


I love taking personality quizzes. I use divination tools to “check in” and as a catalyst to some kind of action. If I can’t make a decision, I often flip a coin. I see these activities as a way to tap into my deeper self, to uncover my personal truth. Sometimes, especially with coin flipping, my reaction against “what the coin says” helps me make the opposite decision.

This morning, a friend posted a little “test” from Life Coach Code. Kinda like a Rorschach test, The First Thing That You See On This Image Reveals Your Deepest Unconscious Fear.

The first thing I saw was the butterfly. Part of the interpretation is that my biggest fear is “the fear of not living, missing chances.” Yes. Absolutely.

My whole life I have always identified as “A Writer.” I crave to make a difference in the world, to help people ‘wake-up’ to their own truth. I believe in justice and equity, and feel a responsibility as a white woman of privilege to speak out against injustice and to use my place of privilege to level the playing field. (By the way, I follow Shaun King and challenge myself to follow his lead.)

Now that I have been on this planet over 50 years, what do I have to show for it? Have I already missed my chance? Will my life remain un-lived? That, my friends, is entirely up to me.

Fear tells me, “Well, if you haven’t done ‘it’ yet, then get over it already. You will not amount to anything.” If I give in to that, then in a flash my mind has me homeless, hopeless, and I might as well die.

Fear can be a good thing. It can be an excellent motivator. Yes. I, at this moment, am taking action to be an active participant in my life. I commit to taking advantage of opportunities, no matter how scary they are or how unqualified I feel.

Walking forward, it feels like a rush of energy blows through me. I can lean in, lean on that energy, and allow it to take me to the place of my ultimate good. I hope that you, too, say YES to the opportunity that sits in front of you.


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